Chinook by George M Hosier II - Of Moose and Men

I think that moose should receive the “World’s Ugliest Thing” award. The only things that might even have a chance of being a runner up are walruses; dust mites; Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania; and my great-aunt Hilda. However, with its gangly legs, bristly proboscis, prehensile lips, blubbery nostrils and close-set beady eyes, the classic ugliness of your average moose can hold its own against all comers.

One would think that the first time a moose caught a glimpse of its reflection in a pond it would immediately expire from embarrassment, but I don’t suppose they have enough of a brain to process the whole concept of self-recognition. If they have any thoughts on the matter at all, moose probably assume their reflection is a sea monster of some sort. Maybe that’s why you typically find them sloshing around in water--they’re trying to stomp the hideous thing they saw peering up at them from just under the surface of their breakfast bowl.

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