Chinook by George M Hosier II - Hopeless Romantic

I’ll never understand women. How do they determine what is romantic and what isn’t? They’ll go swoony-headed and get starry-eyed over some guy from Hollywood that they have never met, who is on his sixty-third marriage and who has a guest suite at the drug rehab center, but if I try to emulate him, my wife knocks me swoony-headed and makes me see stars! How does that work?

I’ve spent hours trying to analyze these movie heroes, and what it is that pushes the buttons of the gentler sex, but the secret eludes me. Several times I thought I had happened upon the answer, but based on my wife’s reaction, I obviously am overlooking a critical component.

My first hypothesis was that the degree of a man’s charm is directly proportional to his ability to flourish a sword. Whether “Pirates of the Caribbean”, or “Kingdom of Heaven”, or “Lord of the Rings”, it seems that the guys who succeed in making my wife go misty eyed are constantly drawing a nicked blade from a scabbard with a musical “Sschiiiing” and using it to disassemble somebody sporting a face full of hideous prosthetics. This is all executed with flawlessly timed choreography of course.

My first hypothesis was that the degree of a man’s charm is directly proportional to his ability to flourish a sword. Whether “Pirates of the Caribbean”, or “Kingdom of Heaven”, or “Lord of the Rings”, it seems that the guys who succeed in making my wife go misty eyed are constantly drawing a nicked blade from a scabbard with a musical “Sschiiiing” and using it to disassemble somebody sporting a face full of hideous prosthetics. This is all executed with flawlessly timed choreography of course.

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